The Maine Women's Journal - Fall 2007

Many of us find care-giving (caring for others) a natural instinct and self-care a bit of a challenge. We need to learn to care for ourselves. We are taught in our early years to “Take care of your sisters; Watch your brother; Stay with gram while she is alone; and Help your mother.” It is tough to break patterns that have been instilled in our early years. I absolutely believe we need to take responsibility to care for and help others. But we must maintain a balance by setting clear boundaries for ourselves. Many of us who have been care-givers have experienced burn-out when we overextend ourselves without regard for our own physical and mental well being.

It is ok to say “no”. If we do not, we risk draining our wells dry. It can become unhealthy to take on more than we can handle. Some of us feel that it is selfish to care for our own needs, or feel guilty about doing so. If we do not make time to do things that bring us satisfaction and gratitude, this pattern of self neglect can create feelings of frustration, resentment, and unhappiness. We can get caught up in “taking care of business” and our daily routines. It is easy to use the excuse of being too busy to make time for ourselves.

Lack of self-care affects us and those around us. We need to feed our souls with nourishment, inspiration and self worth. We need to practice good health physically, mentally and spiritually. This can energize and empower us for a healthier and happier life. Those we care for will also benefit from our reinvigorated selves.

It is ok to say “no”.  If we do not, we risk draining our wells dry.  It can become unhealthy to take on more than we can handle

Balance is the key to fill us with enough fuel to help us better care for others.  As care-givers we need to make a difference and feel like we are contributing in making our world healthier and happier.  To give our best, we must also give to ourselves to ensure our top performance. We must learn to nurture our own beings as naturally and instinctively as we nurture others. Even a half hour each day of walking, reading, or anything we enjoy can preserve our spirits. This will help inspire us to become the best that we can be.  When our intentions are sincere and without expectation, we are open to the experience of true love for ourselves, others and life.  May we all flourish in love, growth and gratitude that results in richness of life each and every day.    

Health and wellness to you,

Cathy J. Orser

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